I WANT IT ALL.

Saturday, July 08, 2006

YAY. my exams are 4/5 over. haha. its only left with maths now.

my prediction of world cup results.
FRANCE champs
ITALY runner up
PORTUGAL third
GERMANY fourth.

FRANCE HAS TO WIN or i'll lose $$. i m rooting for c.ronaldo.
GO GO GO PORTUGAL. :)))))))))))

shall do a recap on my papers.

CHINESE.
its alright. hope to get an A cos its the only subject i can do well in.

GP.
i think i'm so screwed. did the qn on how does compulsory education help to get rid of poverty in every society. HOW CAN I EVERY FORGET TO TALK ABOUT THE keywork SOCIETY. i just wrote non-stop about compulsory education and chunk in everything i learnt from social studies. BUT I WROTE THE WRONG YR that compulsory education was started in singapore.
paper 2 was tough. spent half an hr on 3 qns when i had to complete 11 qns in one and a half hr. =(
I SO HOPE TO PASS GP.

CHEMISTRY.
i thought i was well prepared from chem. pls notice the word thought. mcq nearly killed me. it was super hard. i thought that section A + B has 15 qn althogther until ms sunarfa said there were 5 more during the remaining few mins. i was so running out of time alrdy la. so i resorted to my ingenious method. observe the pattern and just shaded which ever option that hasnt appeared for a long time. HAHA. paper 2 wasnt very well done either. whatever i memorised didnt come out. waste my time. some answers are wrong and the calculation are CHALLENGING. i'm not confident for chem. in addition.it was the most unluckily day of the week. early in the morning when i woke up at 5, my big aunty was here for a visit. and i realised that i didnt bring my pencil case only a few mins before we sat down in the hall and i ended up borrowing stationeries from everyone. cramp till i almost died... :(

ECONOMICS.
i didnt really have the mood to study for econs after chem so i relied on what i studied during the holidays. drq sucked away all my brain cells and i think i did badly for it. didnt have time to complete my second essay.

its really horrible when i pms. i feel guilty for it and dont know why i will do some crazy stuff. BUT THEN I WILL JUST GO CRAZY LA.
1) my sis came into my room to wake me up.
2) i was PISSED.
3) i started throwing my pillow/bolster/blanket and whatever i can grab.
4) i vent my anger by yelling into the bed since i got nothing left.
5) i went downstairs to take a cup of water.
6) no one talked to me and i felt ignored.
7) went upstairs and started crying and wailing.

i know its suppper scary. =((

i wonder whether i'm trying to make pms-ing an excuse to vent out grief within me. i feel i'm living without a purpose. i've never had a long term goal or ambition. so WHAT AM I LIVING FOR. am i living on just to find the answer or just to live cos i'm born into this planet? i really wish i do not know alot of what i know. whether its in the family friends or relationship. being simple-minded and naive might not be a bad thing. how i wish i can go back to the past and laugh my heart out when i feel happy or due to some funny comments. as i grow up or rather as people grow up we become hypocritical and sarcastic. we sometimes even lose our principle. its contentment that hard to satisfy? why is it so hard and rare that i feel contented. even if i do. it never last long. i will desire for more and more. i feel disappointed at myself. i want to be less material. i will make an effort to mark my word. i long for happiness and peace spiritually. but am i able to attain it without a religion. who can put my tormented mind to rest?

1:55 AM